I was having a fun chatting session this morning with 2 dear friends.. Not gonna tell details of the conversation here.. But a part of the conversation was about "Cemana ek nanti bile dah kawin and ada anak?? Nak nak pulak if dengan gaji sekarang".. But, I was surprised that the feedback to me was "Kenalah belajar be independent..." Further in the chatting discussion, the details were "Once u live by yourself (note: not staying with parent) then u will truly understand the meaning of independent".. Erk.. What do you think of it?
My first reaction to this was:
- My dear friend is saying that I am not independent for some particular reason (which I still looking for, which one is it??)
- Is it because I (note: staying with parents) do not have to pay my own bills, rents, groceries etc etc
- I do get some subsidies from my parents (in terms of loan lah)..
Well, I know that I don't totally berdiri atas kaki sendiri yet, but to some extent I believe that whoever in my shoes have to be as strong as I am to survive.. (note: not trying to flatter myself, it's true!! Try and ask my old frens who know how rebellious I was).. And from my understanding, being independent does not rely on whether you are staying by yourself or with your family.. It relies on how well you manage yourself, handle any situation let it be good or bad, handle all the monetary term totally by yourself. Which I believe, none of the lot around my age are able to do so.. Unless you don't have any bills to pay lah.. Which I do feel everyone of us have..
Well, maybe those who are staying far away from parents, do have their own pros and cons.. They need to do their laundry by themselves, cook in order to save more money, and the list goes on.. But one way or another, parents will never let go off you that easily.. Regular monitoring are still needed don't you think so?? On the other hand, they have the advantage of planning and doing the chores according to their own sweet time, sleep when they feel like it, goes out whenever they want..
But staying at home doesn't mean that you are more fortunate.. There are also pros and cons.. You don't have to think of all the electrical, furniture as the parents provide it all.. You still pay your own bills but only those that related to you.. Api, air semua ditanggung beres.. But please don't forget that your parents' eyes will always be with you.. When they say it's time to clean the house, no matter how tired you are.. like it or not, it must be done.. You have to constantly hear the yapping and nagging when you reluctantly doing something when you are told to.. You have to get permission to go out and be back by 12 midnite (their house, their rules).. Total freedom and taking your own pace is never in your dictionary.. And you wish to move out but not allowed to.. (note: parents sometimes use the making-us-feel-guilty way to win)..
So, tell me?? Does this still mean that staying with your parents when you already have your career is considered dependent??? What different does it make between the 2 options??
To whoever that think there's a lot of priviliges of staying under one roof with your parents, try to be in my shoes for a month or two.. Then think again.. I bet you'll say staying alone is still the best.. Independent has a lot of views and perspectives.. For me, both are considered independent, but in its own way..
-Roger and Out-